Banishment: Valentine's Day Oneshot
by princessbinas
Summary: Dean is up to some no-good funny business on Valentine's Day and Inuyasha is caught in the cross fire.


**Binas**: Hello, long time no see. I know, my focus is still absolute shit. I am still in college with classes that dump large loads on to my back. Enough excuses, I have a treat for you guys.

I am currently working on two fanfics. One is a Stranger Things and Inuyasha crossover. The other is a Supernatural and Inuyasha crossover. This one-shot is a soft-companion piece (it ties in, but it is not exactly canon to the story because I have not gotten that far yet; I will probably retool it when the time comes so it will fit) for the latter, regardless if it gets published or not. The reason why I say that is because I am making very little progress with it as I am struggling to nail Jody Mill's personality. I do invite you guys to help me out. Just send me a PM and we can talk a bit about it and such.

As for my Danny Phantom stories. They are all cancelled indefinitely. Why? Butch Hartman has finally pissed me off with his arrogance and treatment of independent YouTube creators. The YouTubers PieGuyRulz, Noahh, and Alpha Jay Show all discuss the situation in much better detail than I ever could. Needless to say, Danny Phantom is no longer a favorite show because it is created by Butch Hartman because of this reason. I cannot stand the fact it is linked to such a pompous person. I may forgive him for his actions, but I will never forget what he has done. Created my childhood my ass. I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender more than I watched Danny Phantom anyways. And I remember catching almost every single first airing of each A:TLA episode.

Enough of that, let's get into the good stuff!

* * *

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* * *

Tripping was not on Dean's list of things to do on a rather lazy Tuesday with no cases in sight. Tripping on a certain silver haired youth who was napping on the floor in the middle of the bunker's spacious main room was without a doubt another thing that he placed at the very bottom of his list.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"SON OF A BITCH!"

Dean picked himself off the floor and glared daggers at the rudely awoken, irate half demon who sat on the floor with his arms crossed. Inuyasha's ears and left eye twitched with boiling irritation.

"Would it kill you to sleep in a freaking bed like a normal person for once?" Dean asked, holding his hand out parallel to the floor.

Inuyasha growled, refusing to answer the dark-blonde haired man's question. The adolescent 248 year old half demon turned his head off to the side to add insult to injury. Dean let out an annoyed sigh and bent down to pick up what he had dropped when he tripped on Inuyasha. That item was a red, heart-shaped box. Inuyasha's unearthly golden eyes flicked off to the side, catching a small glimpse of the object. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow and took in a few sniffs. The box had a sweet smell coming from it.

"What's that?"

Dean looked at Inuyasha, who was now facing him with mild curiosity, then at the heart-shaped box he held in his hand and said with a small smirk, "A box full of shit."

Inuyasha frowned and pointed at his nose, "I can smell the stuff in it, and it smells nothing like shit."

Dean let out a few light chuckles as he shook his head. This brought back some of the more hillarious-in-hindsight memories of Castiel not understanding some of the more complex things about human communication such as pop-culture references. While Castiel's obliviousness was irritating at the time, it was a bit chuckle-worthy nowadays.

"It's a box of chocolates," Dean said. "You do know what today is?"

"It's one of your Tuesdays?" Inuyasha asked, not entirely sure where this was going.

"Yeah, but what else? Can't you just smell the love in the air?"

"This better not be another one of your stupid dog jokes," Inuyasha said, growling once more.

"It's Valentine's Day, genius," Dean said, rolling his eyes. "Didn't Kagome ever tell you about it?"

Inuyasha shook his head. It was in that moment that Dean got a rather mischievous idea.

"Well, Valentine's Day is the day where you give sappy stuff like chocolates and flowers and get laid," Dean said with a large, shit-eating grin.

Dean studied Inuyasha's reaction. So far, it was exactly what Dean expected to be. Inuyasha was confused by what the older Winchester had said about Valentine's Day.

"'Get laid?' What is that?"

"You know," Dean said as he kept on smirking. "Putting the snake in the pipe. Begging for more. Uh, the best thing that you could ever do in the world. Pizza man and the babysitter. Nice pumping action. And it all ends with the stork coming to town. Something you should probably do with Kagome right about now considering your relationship status."

"I didn't get a single thing that you just said..."

"It's a holiday were everybody has sex!" Dean said with a bit of exasperation. "Damn you're dense!"

It took not even a second for Inuyasha's fist to collide with the back of Dean's head and a nice, purple bruise to form from the impact. Dean grasped the bruised area with a pained expression painted on his face as he looked up to see Inuyasha walking away, enraged.

"You're disgusting, bastard! Don't ever talk about what Kagome and I should do like that _again_!" Inuyasha seethed.

Once Inuyasha left the room, Sam entered from the same way the silver haired youth exited. Sam studied the furious, beet-red look on Inuyasha's face and then looked at Dean.

"You didn't..."

"I totally did and it was worth it," Dean with a small smirk returning to his lips.

"Dude, that was uncalled for!" Sam exclaimed.

"Maybe, but it sure was comedy gold," Dean said before handing Sam the heart-shaped box of chocolates he was holding. "Oh by the way, I figured you could use a cheat day from your rabbit food."

Before Sam could utter a single word, Dean hurried out of the main room of the bunker to go to his room. Sam looked at the doorway and then at the heart-shaped box of chocolates Dean gave him.

* * *

A few hours and an empty heart-shaped box of chocolates later, Sam was sitting in his room, looking around on the internet for a possible case. He pursed his lips, not impressed by the recent string of creepy-pastas and hoaxes made by bored teenagers that cropped up in his search results.

The world was quiet.

No disturbances anywhere.

Or at least until Sam's stomach began to hate him. Indigestion settled in and Sam shifted around a bit in discomfort with a grimace. Then, out of the blue, Sam's intestines began to feel like they were about to evacuate into his underwear. Not wasting a single, precious second, Sam closed his laptop and ran as quickly as he could to the closest bathroom as his stomach continued to loudly protest.

In the blink of an eye, Sam's pants fell to the floor and he sat down on the toilet as explosive diarrhea shot into the toilet that would put Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears to shame. Needless to say, Sam was miserably stuck on the toilet. He rubbed his face with both of his hands, hoping that this bout of indigestion would end soon.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door followed by the chuckling voice of his brother, "How's it going in there? You alright?"

It did not take much to put two and two together. Dean had given him X-Lax chocolate. Sam's face became filled with fury as he yelled out, "DEEEEEEAN!"


End file.
